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Fantasies and porn

I guess you're surprised to see me touch upon this topic of all things. I've already mentioned how important it is for you to embrace your own sexuality and desires, but if you're anything like me then traditional and blatantly fake porn doesn't hold much appeal, so here are a few alternate suggestions. These aren't exactly essential elements of your personal development, but some of them might just speak to you on a deeper level, be a greater turn-on, help you embrace female sexuality or just plain provide really good inspiration for your own sex life.

Erotica

I've already touched on this in the section on sex, but if you've never checked out written erotica, I definitely recommend that you do so. Personally I find it at least as arousing as visual stimuli and it is one of the greatest sources for both a look into the mind of female fantasies, as well as into the language that can arouse, seduce and lead women through such fantasies. A few places to get started:

The Mammoth Book of Erotic Confessions (.uk / .ca) was recommended to me by a woman who writes erotica professionally and is the single best collection I've found - aside from the fact that it's huge and can be picked up extremely cheap.

My Secret Garden (.uk / .ca) , by Nancy Friday is another one that stands out. It is among the first books of its kind and has gathered a wide collection of fantasies, sorted by all the most common themes. Nancy Friday made a great many women realize that there was nothing wrong with them for having freaky and perverted fantasies. If you still need to come to terms with this being a normal and healthy part of female mentality, this book is an excellent place to start, aside from being hot and providing excellent value for money. While this book points out that you can inspire great fantasies in your woman, just don't buy into the fallacy that her mind should be anywhere but where you lead it during sex - this book wasn't written by a woman who knew David Shade existed.

Femjoy and playful amateur porn

Beautiful Agony is a site of women (and men for that matter) uploading videos of themselves in their most private moments; fantasizing, maturbating and experiencing orgasm. All while you view only their faces and hear their moans. It's a rather exceptional concept and hardly even qualifies as porn, yet I can recommend checking out the trailer and perhaps watching a few of the free videos to see if this is your thing.

I Feel Myself is another site of the same community, and is basically Beautiful Agony with nothing hidden. The style is a bit different, but it's still a site of women expressing themselves by sharing videos of their most private moments of desire and orgasm. Again the trailer is definitely worth checking out.

I Shot Myself is the last part of this trinity and is again amateurs expressing themselves by basically using their own bodies for nude art. It can be extremely hot, but I find this site to be even more about artistic expression (with hot female bodies in the frame) than about arousal in particular. Still it's worth checking out and might be your thing.

For other sources of somewhat natural images,4chan's Sexy Beautiful Women board actually has a lot of good stuff as well as being a good place to quick explore many styles and fetiches for free, to see if anything in particular is your thing. While I find 95% of it to be uninteresting, the sheer quantity still provides a good amount of any particular category. Be aware that when a thread catches your interest, you can click on the thread-number to open the full thread rather than just displaying 1-3 highlighted pictures.

Caveats

One caveat is presented in this TED-talk. Apparently there are advantages to be gained in your arousal, immersion and sex drive, if you don't look on a great variety of exposed women on a daily basis. I won't say that it's something I avoid completely, but coupled with an active dating life and a fondness for erotica, I find that it's an advantage that's pretty easy to reap, even if just partially.

Some people take this even further and a community on Reddit even advocates avoiding masturbation entirely. As you might have noticed in my other recommendations on this site, I don't agree but rather believe that masturbation is a healthy way to stay in balance and explore your own sexuality. I will say however, that it is also a time for you to be honest with yourself, your desires and who you want to be in bed. If you fantasize of dominant behavior, leading women through great pleasure, and you move away from any obsolete conditioning that might have claimed masturbation or sex to be shameful things, then I expect you will be just fine. Just don't make the newbie mistake of forgetting that your raw masculine desire is one of your most attractive traits - it will of course be a lot stronger if you have gone without masturbation for 24+ hours before a date.


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