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Sex

Basic reframing

Most men have at least a decent grasp on the basic "touch here, touch there" of sex. The far more critical problem is all too often that the sex is plain boring, because the man doesn't lead properly and doesn't trust that his passionate desire is a huge turn-on for his woman. As a man, you might have noticed that primal voice in the back of your head, bringing helpful suggestions such as "Just rip all of her clothes off, bend her over the couch and fuck her brains out, while telling her how fucking sexy she is to you". Most men would immediately turn into far better lovers if their reaction to those impulses would occasionally be "What a great idea, I'll go with that!" instead of "But my woman is such a nice and proper lady, there's no way she would ever be attracted to the intense sexual acts that biology has spent millions of years wiring her brain for."

Now granted, there's a time for all kinds of sex and if you immediately make a transformation like that with a long-time partner, you better be damn sure you still make her feel safe, command her respect and haven't choked off her sexual desire over many years. If you need to repair such circumstances, you want to take smaller steps and it may take several months to bring her to the point where she's coming like crazy for you, is horny for you all the time and trusts you to lead her through any sexual fantasy with absolute confidence that it'll be a positive experience for her.

The most important step of this journey is however to realize that women are highly-sexual beings and that sex is mainly mental for them. You can only go so far by touching in certain ways, if you're not exciting her, bringing out her passions and all-around fucking her mind at the same time. The most critical part of this is to realize the taboo truth, that despite feminism teaching us that women can be our equals in all aspects of life, they still long to surrender completely to the leadership of a strong man in the bedroom. In fact you can safely assume that the stronger a woman, and the higher her self-esteem, the more she has the power and confidence to let go completely in your arms, and the more she requires to feel dominance in the bedroom. Many women in this post-feminist society are themselves confused or even ashamed of these desires, so it is a powerful thing when you can accept them unconditionally as a natural and healthy part of her.

Since women are typically sexually submissive, it is your responsibility as a man to be the leader and take the initiative inside the bedroom. The dirtier an act or fantasy you're leading her through, the more important it is that you take all the responsibility for initiating it, and allow her to be the "innocent" little girl who just gets swept up in naughty feelings and experiences with you. This is why it chokes excitement and passion in the bedroom when a man "respects" a woman so much that he puts all responsibility on her and neuters himself, rather than respecting her desire to give herself completely over to his powerful leadership in the bedroom.

Note that since a woman's trust and respect in your leadership translates so powerfully to sex, the growth you experience as a person will be magnified in sex: The man you are outside the bedroom, allows her to be the woman she is inside the bedroom. This is also why it is essential that your mindset fully appreciates how sexual passions and dirty fantasies are the marks of a healthy high-quality woman: Letting her follow your leadership into a reality where she is liberated from the sexual judgments of society is a very powerful thing.

Resources

Mindset and reality:

The first resource I'm going to recommend is David Shade's The Secrets of Female Sexuality (.uk / .ca) . While it also has a bit of technique, the thing that this book does better than any other is opening your mind to what is possible while also letting you adopt the belief systems that enable you to achieve everything else his products have to offer.

Basics:

For bare-bones female anatomy, this post provides a decent map and description of the relevant zones. If you want a further guide to pure physical techniques, Jason Julius is an expert in that field and offers The Female Orgasm Blueprint, which teaches a lot of good and varied techniques for touch and oral, while also correcting basic misconceptions.

Moving yet another step up, Daniel Rose's Sex God Method is an excellent product that gives you a great overview of useful mental and physical techniques. He is a former David Shade student and offers one of the rare products that is a worthy supplement to that line. This program is relatively cheap yet covers most areas well enough to put you way ahead of 95% of men out there. Particularly the sections on dominance, physical technique and emotional immersion are good, and since David Shade specializes in achieving amazing results in an on-going relationship, this program also has some advantages when the situation is more like fuck-buddies or a one-night-stand.

Mastery:

Now we're moving into David Shade's full programs. You'll already have noticed that is the standard I hold all other programs to: These programs are expensive, and if you just want to be "good" in bed, they are frankly not needed. What they do offer is a chance to go way beyond "good", and actually so far beyond what most people even consider humanly possible that David has a pretty tough time marketing them because of sheer disbelief.

If this is a path you want to go, Secrets of Female Sexuality (.uk / .ca) and Give Women Wild Screaming Orgasms lay out the foundations, Sexual Power And Influence and Cure Nice Guy are great for eliminating bad patterns and getting in touch with your masculine dominance, Give Women Hot Phone Sex teaches phone sex but is also pure gold for hot dirty talk to lead a woman's mind, Bring Out Her Inner Slut teaches how to open her world to taboo experiences and provides a lot of great inspiration, and Secrets of Erotic Hypnosisis the pinnacle product that teaches hypnosis as well as how to use it to make sexual fantasies her reality, letting you control her orgasms with your voice and providing lots of great inspiration for ways to leverage this ability.

VIP Inner Circle:

Separate from the actual programs, David Shade also offers access to his VIP Inner Circle. This is a small community of a few hundred people worldwide. At $37 a month, it's an excellent deal, offering a monthly interview that offers new perspectives or helps internalize the masterful lover belief system, as well as a newsletter with Lena Voyles contributing some of the most insightful articles on sex, relationships and women that I have ever read. The key element however is the internal forum on which David Shade himself along with his top coaches and clients share their new ideas, techniques and experiences, while also helping all new members internalize the teachings and become the men who can lead their women through these experiences. This is one of the best examples I have ever seen of what Napoleon Hill would have dubbed a mastermind group, and if your purchase of any other David Shade materials offer you a free trial on this forum, I strongly recommend you take it.

Be prepared that it's a tough love, no bullshit environment. It's one of the most supportive and caring communities that I have ever encountered, which means that they are also the type of friends to offer you genuine support and progress, rather than buying into any excuses, rationalizations or self-deception that may be covering up the issue. The more honest you are, the better they can help, and whatever your background you will find that many of the most masterful lovers have been in the your shoes a few years back.

Extra:

The Multi-Orgasmic Man (.uk / .ca) is a great book for both improving your performance as well as your own capability for enjoying sex (which again is a huge turn-on for your woman). Definitely worth a read. One important caveat is that it recommends sex without ejaculation, but my opinion is that if you want your woman to be willing and able to let go completely for you, you have to be able to do the same for her.


Pick your own journeys!

  1. Identity:
  2. Health:
  3. General:
  4. My own journey: The full chronological journey and how these teachers have helped me in shaping my own life.

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